When mothers are able to get past the initial stages of breast feeding, diaper changing and the constant demands put on them every day with a baby, a strange phenomenon happens to us…..our minds start to wander to doing it all over again.
For some mothers it comes sooner than later. Somehow, almost magically, we are able to overcome the memory of child birth, the sleepless nights with constant crying and tender breast syndrome, and it is replaced by memories of blissful, loving times with a baby in our arms.
As I look at my son who is now two and a half, and I am one week away from giving birth to my next child, I have to wonder, what was I thinking? I am constantly exhausted, as no matter what happens during the night to me; whether the baby won’t stop kicking or the heartburn is unbearable, every morning like clock work, I must be up and raring to go with my son. The demands put on a stay at home mom with a toddler are draining at times, but it becomes ten fold for the pregnant one.
The worry is also there, along with the guilt. My son has become so used to me at home with just him that I worry that the baby will somehow disrupt that bond, and that my son may be resentful of his mother having to share her time with another child.
I’ve tried to make the transition as easy as possible, from giving him his own special big boy room, equipped with all his favourite heroes and characters from TV to baking cookies at every opportunity. I think I also over did it on Christmas this past year, thinking that perhaps any insecurity he may have, will disappear with a new “Toy Story” action figure.
My husband tells me that these worries are unfounded. He believes that because I discuss the baby with my son every morning (we start off the day by saying good morning to the baby with a kiss) and explaining what his role will be when the baby comes, it has really helped with the process of introducing the new baby to the family. My son loves babies too, in fact, he can’t get enough of them if he spots one on the playground. My husband also reminds me, that most people have siblings (except for him – my husband was an only child). But I have a younger sister and we are very close. I was five when she was born, and I couldn’t wait to have a sister.
So who is right? Will my son have a tough time with the transition or is it going to be me who will have the tougher time? Maybe I have become so used to the dynamic between my son and I at home, that the idea of change really scares me. We are creatures of habit, and perhaps because my routine with my son has finally become comfortable, the idea of changing is a tough one for me.
What I do know is that another child is going to be a wonderful, new experience all over again and the best part is, my son will get to be a part of that, and will have a sibling to grow up with. What better gift could I be giving him, truly? And the sleepless nights? Ask me next year – when magically, the memory has once again faded.
Kelley Scarsbrook is a Stay at Home Mom, and writes a syndicated column called "Mom at Home" for Black Press in White Rock, BC. Kelley is also owner of "Yes You Can Be a Stay at Home Mom Consulting Services" which provides inspirational workshops and consulting services for women looking to become Stay at Home Moms, and home-based business start up. You can visit Kelley's website at http://www.thestayathomemother.com to sign up for monthly tips and upcoming workshops.
